Self-Pity and The Party

By Poetry Authoress Victoria L. McColley
Man of Sorrows

Man of Sorrows

Self Pity & The Party

WARNING WARNING strong language & Vickie’s humor may be used for this post-so if you are easily offended by such things then move the HAIL ON… ;)

Therapy?

Did you get hurt?

Oh the woes of the wounded self and the pity party!! You know very well what I am talking about too. We all know what it’s about., and too self pity is different for everyone. How many times have you ran across someone that you would like to say “Hey deuce face man the hellzbells up, get some dayam asphalt back bone why don’t you?” …and you there crying  about that sorry assumption two timer guy-put on your big girl panties and find another man…a Godly Man!!

Not that often I bet ha ha…or the woman who goes on and on about the same thing over, and over, and over again? Ughhhh….
Hey wait a second I do that! I do that with the deepest wound I have matter of factly!! I know people are sick of hearing about it too, and also sick and tired of attending my “Pity Party”

Here’s a recap: My mother was beaten & raped by my Uncle Skip. The worst part of this pity party is as I went to unlock the front door for him, you know my Uncle Skip whom is an awesome Uncle that I love came to visit us one night….anyway my mother shouted “NO…don’t open the…” to late I already unlocked it, and in came my drunk-as I was saying—> Uncle Skip (Gordon Schontube) ready for some evil drunk action. Now did I know what drunk was? Oh no I was only 12 years old at the time. But I knew what beating the breath outta my mother was, and him ripping off her clothes was…etcetera etcetera etcetera…

What a horrible thing to witness, worse though now that I am a mother myself, what a horrible experience for her! I will never forget the look on her face knowing I was petrified and shocked by what I was seeing….oh wait this is not the part that is my pity party, it’s the murder of my mother who pressed charges on her sister’s husband. Yeah that’s my pity party, and all the lies involved around my mothers murder. So I feel the pity my whole life, and it is pathetic I tell you, just pathetic. How to heal a wound that just won’t go away is a heavy burden.

Now this brings me to someone else’s self pity, and I am a hard cookie to crack for attending anyone’s pity party since I have mine always at hand…ha ha very poor humor, anyways some people spend way to much time on self pity that they fail to see how unimportant it is.

What hurts you? Did someone stop loving you? Did you love someone, and you thought they loved you, but they changed-you changed? Come on now, get over that nonsense. Did you lose a loved one through death? Now that is something to have a pity party over. Death is a terrible wound. Death is permanent. The loss of anyone in our life circle through death trauma is a deep deep wound. But this may be my way of thinking due to my own loss as a child. I’m not sure really.

But if you are spending time on living matters it’s time someone tells you that you are harming yourself by not letting go, cause life goes on. While you are gathering people to “listen & feel empathy” (or that pity party of sorrow) for you the rest of the world is living their lives happily, so move on, Man Up Get Some Back Bone…stop crying over other people who are alive and well. Find YOUR LOVE JOY & HAPPINESS…

It’s rash I know, I have no patience for people who “Boo-Who” over failed relationships. it’s such a waste of time is why. The dwellers won’t find happiness dwelling. Do you think the person who doesn’t want you spends any time thinking about you? Why is it that another person’s opinion isn’t valuable? I have had plenty of failed relationships, and it’s no big deal to me. It’s not what I wanted, or set out for, but we all need to move on. I would never want to be with someone who didn’t want to be with me. I let them go, and some I sent packing because I seen who they really were, and or who they weren’t. Everyone has an opinion in the Self-Pity Party you know, and then some people need a real swift kick in the asphalt. I got mine & Jesus is the one who made me see my own pity party, and I am very grateful!! I have been set free…a work of progress in GOD’s Hands :)

So this brings me to expand on my realization of my own pity party & how unimportant my wounds are in the murder of my mother,  which in turn also meant my losing our home, and the loss of my brothers and sisters, my life as I knew it into an orphan, and the very insignificance of my wounds, (I try not to ramble)  and that is this image:

ROMANS 5:3 ESV / More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,

Wow, I can hardly believe I gave myself a pity party (you got that right!!) … Really… we all need take responsibility for our own actions and stop passing the puck of blame onto someone else. I can hardly believe how barbaric we are as humans to other people, especially these days of old ancient times. Back in the day if a woman placed ointment on her lips to help with chaffing she was stoned for being a witch. People are so easily brainwashed (weaker souls) People really need to start standing up for their self with “Godly Eyes” …even if you stand alone like that old time quote states…Or how about this image depicting more agony and sorrow, yet strength to carry on:

MATTHEW 11:28-30 ESV /
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

My one friend is going blind and may loose her foot, and she still has faith that Jesus is teaching her. She could pass blame, but she doesn’t. I tell you people are really self indulgent for pity, I know I do it too over my mother. But looking at these images of Jesus makes me realize how real agony must feel. I feel ashamed too that my ego (I guess it’s ego) would not let me get past my mothers death. Strange what people find important, and then like I mentioned via my own opinion what some people cry over, and play the pity card over…it’s pathetic. I move on more easily in living matters than some people, so I don’t understand why people hang onto living people like they do. But then as for me I stay stuck on the deaths…who am I? Nobody to judge that is for certain…

Every situation is different for everyone, and too there are always 2 sides of the same situation-which always involves choices…hello choices!!! In the living there can be all sorts of change, and in death zero…If a relationship is making you happy embrace this, and if it is not maybe you could try harder? Or move the HAIL on, and don’t look back!! Life goes on either way, and the choices are yours and yours alone. However you might want to consult Jesus on this. He can help you decide if you need  to be happy or hurting…and too you might hurt someone in your choices but you were put here on this earth for you, and not for them. Somewhere in the Bible it mentions to “safe-guard” your heart with dilligence. As for the others who may get wounded, they will have to man up or put their big girl panties on and get over it. Live your life for Jesus and you-right?   They are living theirs for them, right? Don’t let no-one manipulate you. Yeah grab your self importance through Jesus :)

So what is your Self-Pity Party about? Did someone hurt your feelings? Did someone stop loving you? Did someone destroy your property? Did someone you love love someone else? Did someone hit you? Move On Holmes!! Move On!! There are bigger fish out there to fry, and too bigger battles to be won…so move on, and if by chance you have been traumatized by a situation don’t bother with the self indulgent pity party, talk with GOD & Jesus or too you can get some EMDR Therapy!! Man EMDR is soooo amazing!! It helped me allot in 2009 getting over my pity party about my mother’s rape & murder….(I don’t internalize it anymore-I vocalize it-ha ha) & Jesus is taking care of the rest. You can do it cat nip!!! You deserve to smile in your heart! Embrace all the goodness that is left of your life!! Stop wallowing in that sorry sap circle, come on now Buckle Up and Full Speed Ahead…In Jesus Name AYE-MEN!!!

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